PROCESS BOOK__2.0

The crit, with guests!! When signing up for the different guests’ groups, I had looked into the different portfolio’s but hadn’t realised Piotr curated one of my favourite shows I saw in Prague (maybe a bit of anchor bias, it was also one of the first shows I saw where we actually met the curator in Prague).

The crit was great though. I wanted to show both a new work I created recently and contextualise it within the final work from last semester (as this semester is building further upon those findings and experiments). Lots of inspiration references (other artists) and new contextualization. It was interesting and beneficial to hear how people experience my work and how it’s new developments are engaging for an audience.

I had some questions prepared about the format of the performance, its live our recorded format, the absence of sound, and the further building upon the concept.

In my tutorial with Cristina, we talked about performing in the digital space. She referenced a student at DAMU who was doing performances in a google doc, which I attended this Monday. It was called ‘SOMEONE HAS SHARED A DOCUMENT WITH YOU’ by En Ping Yu.

It was really fun. I found myself laughing a lot.

It was an ‘adventure in two-dimensional space’ —with small group we explored the space of empty Google document and its expected and unexpected laws. It was an examination both of the borders and possibilities of this digital page. How we connect and can touch through the net. We were all participants, being guided through the document. This participation element was especially great. Seeing how, even in a digital space, we can create rules for an experience. I definitely want to explore further how my work can move towards such an experience, either digitally or physically

We’re trying to progress the work on the theme and title proposals for the final exhibition. The meetings are not super productive though, so we have set clearer goals for ourselves on what needs to be done (with deadlines!!) this week we are all writing multiple proposals so we have tangible ideas to work off of in the second meeting this week.

writing and conceptualizing a cohesive theme has proven to be hard. The exhibition in reality is hold together solely by our class structure and graduating, but finding some themes that we can connect with on a more wholistic level would be great. My thoughts are moving towards abstracting this idea of graduating, and taking the time element of change and closure as a central theme. But the group is moving more towards self image / self subjected concepts. Though I don't think they have to be mutually exclusive, they could exist within the same scope of a metaphor or theme.

more zoom meetings
and
docs

links and references to look into

[view full recording here]

I wanted to do some broader research in themes and topics to which my performance related. Keya tipped me to phenomenology, and send me some sources.

One of the sources was Matthew Ratcliffe’s ‘The Feeling of Being’. This specific paragraph is very much core with what I am trying to incorporate / experience;

"I suggest that certain uses of the term pick out a distinctive category of phenomena, which consist of ‘ways of finding oneself in the world’. They form a recognisable group in virtue of two shared characteristics. First of all, they are not directed at specific objects or situations but are background orientations through which experience as a whole is structured. Second, they are all feelings, in the sense that they are bodily states which influence one’s awareness. As they constitute the basic structure of ‘being there’, a ‘hold on things’ that functions as a presupposed context for all intellectual and practical activity, I refer to them as ‘existential feelings’."

PHENOMENOLOGY_research

REWRITING AND RECONSIDERING_exhibition prep

week 7

With the exhibition prep progressing, I need to also further develop my own work.
In the break, I really did try to experiment —get out of my head and the conception of the work, but get to actually doing things, making things physical, having things take up space. It’s hard. It’s hard when you can’t go to studio, when you are stuck in your room, when you don’t have the space to see people interact and engage, when you can’t get initial responses, only your own, which are so intertwined with that conception.

I am stuck in this loop, of not really knowing, and also not really progressing, so also not seeking out further, cause of the not knowing, which is not progressing.

Anyways,
Since we are now done with the week of break, I had a tutorial again. It did help, in the way of identifying where things were getting stuck. I get stuck in the waves of conception a lot, where I block myself from actually doing anything because I’m just trying to further conceptualise and think through the details of what I am doing, instead of actually doing things, especially physically. Such a big part of art is doing things physically, and in the pandemic life, that is obstructed easily, but not undoable. So that is what I need to focus on again. Getting back to my intentions, and thoughts, restructuring those,

but most of all, putting them to practice.

During my time in NL, for the eyp event, I had the chance to go to several museums. Since we were also responsible for the cultural programme of this digital event, we wanted to record videos in different artistic, cultural, and historic spaces in the city, so we could share that piece of Maastricht (digitally) with our participants. One of the places I really wanted to go was Marres, House of Contemporary Culture.

The current exhibition they had on was ‘Intimate Geographies’. Here two artists inhibited the house, merging art and life in this space. The exhibition presents different experiences and environments, including a landscaped garden full of plants that the couple had in their former house in Beirut, a living room where the two are having a mundane discussion on a couch overlooking a curiously undulating carpet, or a dining room where they have lunch surrounded with embroidered curtains from another time-space. Little by little, as a visitor you will infiltrate their intimate and professional lives. Home is no longer solely the attractive physical and mental space that it used to be; it has also become a space for endless waiting. This manifestation of memory, lived experiences, and actual life within the space, feels connected to the project I am working on at the moment. Although here in a bigger format, each room of this house was curated around memory, a memory embodied through objects, a memory embodied through actions. Seeing the different ways and tactics how the artists worked with this was both interesting and inspiring to see. The specificity and abstractness, the direct references but also room for personal interpretation.

In the Marres, they have a youth engagement programme, called Marres Extended. Here they facilitate a space for young people to engage with art, explore culture, and interact with people, both from the city but also for example from the local refugee centres. I was in contact early on with the educational leader of the programme, where we came to the conclusion that having the people from Marres Extended as a central element in our video was the perfect opportunity for fostering that same level of cultural exchange we also seek out in the EYP. We spent a full day with different kids and coordinators from the programme where we followed them along the house, where they talked, discussed, explained and analysed the different rooms. It really exemplified these different perspectives and interpretations.

DECISIONS AND CONSIDERATIONS_progressing??

A SPACE PLAN_final exhibition

everything is progressing, also cause the time of preparation is running out.

We are finally having a meeting with Pascal about the exhibition setup this week. From the SPACE team, we have been preparing a provisional space plan with allocations of everybody's work. We made a nice little overview on MIRO, with colour coding and all. We were able to logically allocate most people, but since we simply do not know what some people are doing —as they did not submit a project proposal, were at the recent meetings or classes, and have not really been responding to messages or emails — we have left there spaces flexible. Some of the work seems to be lagging behind, or being halted by lack of responses or input from others but hopefully, that will be better after the meeting.

In the actual meeting we mainly talked through peoples plans, what they needed and especially where they wanted or needed to be. What does their space need regarding light, or walls, or actual ground space. We heard nearly everybody's proposals (sadly still some people not showing up...).

I think the larger part of our plan will be final, with more minor changes. The space itself however will have to undergo quite some changes. Especially regarding walls. Everybody seems to want to be building walls. That will be fun.

We will see once we get closer to the exhibition, what possibilities we'll have, how much time and construction will be needed. But as Pascal said 'if we are a team it should all be very doable' though how strong that team responsibility and reliance will be, I'm not too sure.

PROGRESS IN THE PUBLICATION_final exhibitION

[view the video here]

Stuff needed to happen, cause time is moving faster than we are.

I am starting the layout, the full one that is. We made templates but with everybodies work being so different, we think it will be easier to just see each spread as their own. Bringing so many individual styles and esthetics together, they need to still be able to shine through.

We delegated some of the work. Daniil is taking care of harassing people for not supplying photos or text. Keya and Inna are editing the texts, to make them better but also coherent. Hoi Man and me discussed, He is taking care of the main graphic elements, like the cover and spaceplan, and I will start with the actual content and all the individual spreads.

It will be a lot of work but it should be fun work. We are setting deadlines and talking with the printers, now I just gotta make a start with the actual layouts. We finally have the final visual identity done, which took way longer than it should, so I can now finally start.

Collecting all the materials was harder than it should have been. It was not organised too well.

I have finally felt grounded again. In Prague and in my practice. With so many separate loose parts creating chaos in my head, I did not find time to really sit down and think things through properly. Or I did, but with chaos, none of the thoughts were actually that coherent.

I think this week a lot of the things that had been spooking around in my head found a place. The different parts of the performance seem to be coming together. I made some final decisions on the format of the performance and the different acts in it.

The mapping aspect to the work was unresolved in my head. With more experimentation and actually having cleaned out the space and sat there, I feel like I have a clearer vision on this. The how, why and what are making more sense in my head now. I want to run the performance and mapping in the space this week, to see how it actually embodies the space and how it visually looks. I also had a talk with Cristina about the ‘esthetic of the mapping and marking’. About that I need to decide on those vibes too. I had done some initial research, but with the current setup and style, I might need to reconsider some of those. I originally was research very paper based option, with the mapping also being placed on a 2d paper surface, but I want to move away from that. With the mapping in the space being intended to embody the memory, it would make sense to become physically part of the space, and not on top of a paper in it. I see the mapping as a floor plan, and am seeing which ways I can create that physically. Some of the materials I have been thinking about are small rolls of paper (like receipt rolls) or using markers to directly write on the floor. This is all adding to the general visual set of the whole work —something I have only really conceptualised in my head and now get to actually physically see.

Another big part of development in the work has been the audience engagement. The real ‘participatory’ part seemed to be moving too far away from the essence and intentions of the work, so rather than trying to forcefully incorporate it, to cut it out. Instead I want to give the audience a space, both physically and conceptually, in the performance (and especially the records of it). I am now working on the details of how that would take shape.

PROJECTIONS n DETAILS_technicalities

group
work
can
be
a
struggle

The main part of my work on my project this week was focussed on materials. I wanted to make final decisions as to what to use, for the performance, for the mapping, for bordering, for additional things. Really setting the boundaries on the esthetic of the mapping and seeing how it influences the narrative of the work.

I originally experimented with a variety of materials that would really lay on top of the space (think tape or rolls of paper. They were visually a strong impact on the space, a little bit too much. They
felt somewhat like an invasion of the space, or like they were really bordering things
off. I think the quality of the map really lies on the aspect where it starts to merge the
space here with the space in the memory. These materials seemed to be obstructing
that.

So I looked for different options. I settled on chalk. It is easy to apply, easy to remove.
It has a bit of a temporal aspect to it, cause it can be removed if stepped on or felt. It
made you want to take a closer look, to really read it.

I also looked into markers, to leave more clear and visible marks, they also worked well,
I think I might use those instead of the chalk in the end.

CLEANING AND MOVING_prepping

This week we had the last crit. It was helpful, both for my (but I guess everyone's) personal projects but also to see other peoples work, how it is coming together, how they have progressed, how they are curating it in the space.

I really wanted to actually trial the full performance during the crit. Though things did not work out this way. I had too many loose parts going on in my mind, too many questions that I would rather resolve in the crit, and talk about. I feel like i’ll have enough time to fully run

One of the main points of feedback I got from the crit was to think about the relation of the physical part and the digital part of my performance. How they related, how they worked together, how they worked separately. They are functioning on two different levels, each narrating their individual aspect of the work, and thus of the memories.

One of the things that helped me to further resolve this for myself, was going back to my initial intentions with the digital part of the performance. Why the desktop, why the projection. What purpose does it serve within the work?

What I want the desktop element to bring to the work, is a level of intimacy through the raw and intimateness of the desktop, sort of a open book approach to this digital world. It is part a reference to the digital world, and how such a big part of our memory exists there. So much of our memory, our experiences, our lives, exist within this digital realm. And talking to, or conversating with people through this medium, makes a lot of sense in the format of this work to me. It also serves the purpose of accumulating and organising. The desktop has a level of interacting, and especially after the performance itself, it'll serve as a way of accessing the work. Cause the interaction with the desktop in my work, from the perspective of the viewer takes two different forms. The reader encounters the desktop, with it’s directory of folders and files, first, as a performance. They see the artist interact, create, tell them a story. It is only afterwards, that the desktop is, so to say, opened up as a thing to discover. It becomes a thing to explore.

This online offline aspect to the work, where I am exploring it in two different settings was something I really wanted to try out. It makes the work engaging on two different levels, and is something I especially want to develop and investigate further in different works or the continuation of this project.

the subject lines of these emails are getting wilder and wilder

a lot more things are coming together, and a lot more things need to get done soon. The publication is nearly done, I picked up the test print this week, it looks FK GREAT (if i do say so myself). The risograph printer finally got back to me, so hopefully we will be printing flyers with them too (the design of those is also nearly done). The space is finally starting to look more like things are really happening. A lot of mess still though.

We have done a lot of trips to OBI and Polska and other places to pick stuff up. I am now also part of the food for the opening team. We are making a grocery list and baking things at my apartment.

EXHIBITION PREP_organising

I planned to trial the performance (in shortened version) with cristina this week. I performed for about 30 minutes I'd say, and afterwards we had a chance to discuss.

The whole structure of it I really got down and pretty clear, it is mainly the final touches, the details and additional things to think about that I still have some work left to do for.

We talked about the different dynamics and following strategies to use and be aware of for the performance. Which elements provide which setting and corresponding feelings, and how can I utilise the contrast to play each element like an instrument.

Seeing as I now have gone through the performance a couple of times, I have somewhat of a backlog of things to write and remember, something to fall back on. However I do not want the performance to become an automated thing, I want it to still be an act of remembering.

Cristina gave some great advice for this, mainly to take more time, take things slow, and challenge myself in my ways of thinking and remembering.

I have also become the main person managing the budget, since nobody from the fundraising group was.

We also have now gotten all equipment, I'm trying to let other people handle stuff too, but for some reason it always becomes chaos or goes wrong, so I'm trying to keep in the loop and follow up on all things that need to be delegated, which is getting a bit tiring, but at least stuff is happening

The ending is really getting near now. Everything is evolving and progressing at a rapid pace, and whilst all the puzzle pieces seem to be falling into place, the time to finalise everything is also running out. I am not too stressed for time though, I am still on schedule for my plans, which is very positive as I had calculated quite a lot of buffer time for things to take longer than they should. I wanted to be done with all the bog prep last week (think painting walls, cleaning floors) so I could finalise the last bits of the performance and take care of all the technical setup (cable management and projector hanging) this week.

I have been going to studio nearly 6-7 days a week now, because there really isn't a lot of time left to take off, but surprisingly I have not felt burned out or tired of it juuuust yet. But who knows, maybe this week that will hit.

dreams coming true
we went up in the construction elevator

I had an idea, I was laying in bed (not sleeping cause of general insomnia) and was thinking about the things I really enjoyed, that caught my attention or that I vividly remembered from exhibitions or shows. One of those things was, when you could take something, a flyer or a postcard, about the work. Something to hang on your wall or collect in a box. I love those little things. So I decided to make postcards, that I could display next to my work, that people could take home .

The actual designing of this was rather simple. I had this visual that worked great on it, and slapped a title + some info and a link to my portfolio on the back and send them off to copy general.

MORE WORK_postcards

THE LAST WEEK_!!!!!!